mainstoryfile

<<set $video is 1>>"In anatomy, the scapula (plural scapulae or scapulas) or shoulder blade, is the bone that connects the humerus (upper arm bone) with the clavicle (collar bone)."\n\nThe email notification pontificates for the third (and final) time.\n<<if $email is 0>>*[[Power off computer and get ready for bed][$ethic -= 1;$luck += 1]]\n*[[Read email]]<html><audio autoplay>\n <source src="workemail.ogg" type="audio/ogg">\n <source src="workemail.mp3" type="audio/mpeg">\nYour browser does not support the audio element.\n</audio></html><<else>>*[[Power off computer and get ready for bed]]<<endif>>\n<html><style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/scapula.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html>

<html><style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/poweroffandgetready-mid.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html><<if $ethic < 0>>@@.red;//NEW PLAYER NOTE: For ignoring your work email while off-the-clock, your //''ETHIC''// has decreased, but your //''LUCK''// has increased.//@@\n<<endif>>\n//Yeah,// you figure. //It's time to hit the hay.//\n\n<<timedinsert 3s>>You've got work at T3CH in the morning, and it's already less than four--your preferred amount of--REM cycles away.<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 8s>><html><style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/poweroffandgetready.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html><<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 10s>>//"But a clean smile will take you miles..."// You chitter to yourself. <<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 18s>>...You always say that in your head right before you brush your teeth. <<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 23s>>//Hm.// <<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 27s>><html><style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/poweroffandgetready-mid.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html>This is the first time you're realizing you do that. You wonder why you do it.<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 31s>>//Huh.//<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 38s>>*[[Brush teeth]]\n*[[Y'know what? Time for porn]]<<endtimedinsert>>\n

<html><style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/brushteeth-stand.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html><<timedinsert 4s>><html><style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/brushteeth-faucetwait.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html><<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 6s>><html><style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/brushteeth-lights.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html><<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 12s>><html><style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/brushteeth-faucet.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html><<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 10s>>Oof, that bathroom light is always a doosey this time of night...<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 18s>><html><style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/brushteeth-face.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html><<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 15s>>You grab the brush that you save for solely your teeth and go to town. The feeling is unmistakably refreshing.<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 25s>>[[Go to bed]]<<endtimedinsert>>

It's uncharacteristic of you--//Dos//--software engineer extraordinaire and summa cum lauda of your graduating class--to ignore your own meticulously produced, polished, and personalized notifications, but--for whatever reason--you are wholly engrossed in this How-To video on correct bench-press technique and just [[continue to watch it.|continue watching]]\n<html>\n<style type="text/css">\nhtml { \n\tbackground: url(images/3.gif)\n\tno-repeat center center fixed #000000;\n\t-webkit-background-size: cover;\n\t-moz-background-size: cover;\n\t-o-background-size: cover;\n\tbackground-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html>

<<timedinsert 3s>>Every [[day...|Every day...]]\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n<<endtimedinsert>>\n<html>\n<style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/1.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html>

Hahaha haha ha\n\n*[[Catch the bus]]

Here you sit, watching youtube fitness videos, observing bros at the gym talk to cameras about how to properly bench-press. It's <i>fascinating</i>, yet you also feel hypocritical; you've //never even been to a gym.//\n\nIn front of you are the remnants of tonight's arduous (but successful) coding undertaking: A bag of //Cheetos//, an empty box of //Ding Dongs//, various pudding cups, un/crushed //Dr Pepper// cans, and a 2-liter bottle of //MTNDEW// that your best friend Trevor left last week (you ran out of //Dr Pepper//).\n\nSuddenly! Your speakers emit an ominous and familiar tune and indicate that you've received an email from work.\n\n<html>\n<audio controls>\n <source src="workemail.ogg" type="audio/ogg">\n <source src="workemail.mp3" type="audio/mpeg">\nYour browser does not support the audio element.\n</audio>\n<style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/3.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html>\n*[[Check work email]]\n*[[Grab another handful of Cheetos]]

<<timedinsert 1s>>...the //[[Gym.|intro]]//<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<html>\n<audio autoplay>\n <source src="workemail.ogg" type="audio/ogg">\n <source src="workemail.mp3" type="audio/mpeg">\nYour browser does not support the audio element.\n</audio>\n<style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/3.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html>

<Dos clumbsily stumbles through his morning routine of using the toilet, showering, getting dressed, brushing his teeth, and forgetting his keys>\n\nOkay, well, you're just a //bit// late out the door.\n\n*<<mousereplace>>[[How late?]]<<becomes>>[[Wait—I don't wanna know.|Doesn't matter how late I am, as long as I get going!]]<<endmousereplace>>\n*[[Doesn't matter how late I am, as long as I get going!]]

<<if $email is 0>><html>\n<style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/2_1.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html>\nSo, you're supposed to keep your scapula back the <i>entire</i> time, not just on the negative? Your computer notifies you once again about the unread email.\n\n*[[Google "scapula"]]\n*[[Read email]]<html><audio autoplay>\n <source src="workemail.ogg" type="audio/ogg">\n <source src="workemail.mp3" type="audio/mpeg">\nYour browser does not support the audio element.\n</audio></html><<else>>Yeah, actually, you know, it's a good video and everything but you figure you've got enough on your mind to deal with.\n\n*[[Power off computer and get ready for bed]]\n<html>\n<style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/2.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html><<endif>>

At the Gym

<html><style type="text/css">html { background: url(images/catch-the-bus.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; -webkit-background-size: cover;-moz-background-size: cover;-o-background-size: cover;background-size: cover;}</style></html>You're an environmentally-conscious person, you think. <<timedinsert 3s>>You //like// to think, anyhow. <<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 9s>>And you prefer public transportation as it gives you more time to think.<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 15s>><html>\n<style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/catch-bus-mid.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html>And you //think// the bus should be here any minute, now.<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 19s>>...but who knows //how// many minutes?<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 24s>>And, y'know, you //could//... just... ''wait'' here.<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 27s>>You could [[check your phone]].<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 29s>><html><style type="text/css">html { background: url(images/catch-the-bus.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; -webkit-background-size: cover;-moz-background-size: cover;-o-background-size: cover;background-size: cover;}</style></html><<if $ethic > 0>>...but after working so vigorously last night on your code, after emailing your boss, that [[coffee shop]] across the street is looking pretty good...<<else>>...but after working last night on T3CH code, that [[coffee shop]] across the street is looking pretty good...<<endif>><<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 45s>>Maybe it would've been worth it to drive, today? What if the bus is late? What if you're so late that you miss your meeting??<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 53s>><html>\n<style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/catch-bus-mid.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html> Should you [[walk??]] Is that dumb?<<endtimedinsert>>\n<<timedinsert 65s>><html>\n<style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/catch-the-bus-wait.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html><<endtimedinsert>>\n<<timedinsert 67s>>Oh hey, is that the [[bus?]]<<endtimedinsert>>

<html>\n<style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/2_1.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n<audio controls>\n <source src="workemail.ogg" type="audio/ogg">\n <source src="workemail.mp3" type="audio/mpeg">\nYour browser does not support the audio element.\n</audio>\n</html>\nYep--it's your custom-made "workemail.wav"--indicating that there is, indeed, an unread work email in your inbox. You scan over it and find a message from your boss, George Tent.\n*[[Read email]]\n*[[Ignore it]]

<<print $ethic>> (working/not)\n<<print $comity>> (nice/mean)\n<<print $wit>> (witty/dumb)\n<<print $luck>> (winning/losing)

<html>\n<style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/sleep-fuzz.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html><<timedinsert 4s>>Every [[night...|Every day]]<<endtimedinsert>>

<<set $email = 1>>"Dos,\n\nAll prepped for our launch meeting tomorrow? Final polish like we discussed? Thanks for putting in the overtime; your work is an invaluable asset—on this project and at T3CH.\n\n++Tent"\n\n*[[Respond]]\n*[[Ignore]]\n<html>\n<style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/reademail.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html>

<Dos hops out of bed, uses the toilet, hops into the shower, gets dressed, and grabs his keys as he leaves his apartment>\n\n*[[Catch the bus]]\n*[[Y'know what? I'm trying to get fit... I'll jog to work, today!]]

<<set $porn += 1>>Bedtimes are for people with the mentality to perform meticulous, scholarly research, organize it into a personalized chart, and memorize it in order to optimize the full breadth of their day/night cycles.\n\n<<timedinsert 8s>>People like you.<<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 10s>> You did those things.<<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 12s>> Don't forget, //you// spent a lot of time doing those things.<<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 15s>> But who cares?<<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 18s>> //There//<<endtimedinsert>> <<timedinsert 19s>> //is//<<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 20s>> //porn.//<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 24s>>You quickly keystroke to your favorite (hidden) bookmark folder and scan the titles.<<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 27s>>*[[friends massage]]\n*[[880299929.mlv]]\n*[[hot blonde takes all like champ (voyeur)]]\n*[[bf/gf consentually fuck]]<<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 36s>>Or...<<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 38s>> actually...<<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 40s>> maybe it //is// time for [[bed?|Go to bed]]<<endtimedinsert>>

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//Me and everyone else in the god damn Real World,// you argue. //But I guess I can snooze a few more minutes... \n\n<<timedinsert 5s>>I mean, what's the worst that could happen...?//<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 8s>>...and this bed is so comfy...<<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 13s>> ...<<endtimedinsert>>\n<<timedinsert 17s>>*[[FUCK WAIT WHAT TIME IS IT]]<<endtimedinsert>>

Yeah, you're not on the clock. You're sure the email will be waiting for you whenever you get around to it. You [[continue watching]] the How-To video on correct bench-press technique and chow down on a few more //Cheetos//.\n<html><style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/3.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html>

You've refined your sleep schedule extensively since college; you tend to just wake up at 6:12 AM without an alarm. It can be a good thing and a bad thing—never being able to sleep-in on your days off tends to be a pain, but hey, at least you're productive!\n\n//Anyway, it's time to get up,// you figure. //That morning deuce isn't going to ''take'' itself!//\n*[[Do the morning routine]]\n*[[I don't feel like getting out of bed]]

A young woman enters frame as she removes her hand from atop the camera that's shooting the video. The white balance quickly adjusts and we see her lie back and recline nude on a sofa. From her profile, we can see a young man's torso between her legs, his hands on her thighs, but he soon shifts backward and--with his partner's pleasure in mind--performs oral sex. \n\nThe young woman is visibly pleased, and this process continues until she is satisfied.\n\nBefore long, however, the oral slows, and we see the young man rise from his sitting position into a kneeling one where he effortlessly penetrates and proceeds to fuck his girlfriend. \n\nThey both cum. //This video was aptly titled,// you decide.\n\n*[[Consider my goat: gotten!|Welp, I'm satisfied!]]

Two girls sit in their respective rooms, split screen over some kind of video messaging browser app. They're sitting, giggling every now and then, tapping away at their golden iPhones.\n\nThis continues for the entirety of the clip, and perhaps it dawns on you that "massage" is simply "message" misspelled....\n\n*[[Yep, that did it!|Welp, I'm satisfied!]]

<<set $ethic += 1>>"TENT\n\nThe build's stable--all ready for the meeting--and the polish is niice and shiny.\n\nMR-DOS"\n\n@@.red;//NEW PLAYER NOTE: For responding to your work email off-the-clock, your //''ETHIC''// has improved.//@@\n*[[Work's done, let's get back to that video|continue watching]]\n*[[Power off computer and get ready for bed]]\n<html>\n<style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/replyemail.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html>

<<if $video is 0>>Yeah, why respond to a //work// email when you're already //done// with //work//, right? You just worked overtime adding the final polish to that T3CH project, anyway. You're pooped and ready for bed. ...or maybe a bit more of that video?\n\n*[[Power off computer and get ready for bed]]\n*[[...What was it the video said about keeping your scapula back?|continue watching]]<<else>>Yeah, why respond to a //work// email when you're already //done// with //work//, right? You just worked overtime adding the final polish to that T3CH project, anyway. You're pooped and still gotta get ready for bed.\n\n*[[Power off computer and get ready for bed]]<<endif>>

<<timedinsert 1s>>It's cool.<<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 1.4s>> It's cool.<<endtimedinsert>> <<timedinsert 1.9s>>You're just running late.<<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 3s>> No need to panic.<<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 4s>> What's the first thing you do in the morning?<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 5s>> Whatever it is you figure you'd better [[get up and get started.]]<<becomes>> Shit, Dos. There's no time to waste. Your software presentation is //today// and it's your career's ''future'' on the line!<<gains>> It's time you [[get up and get started.]]<<endtimedinsert>>

An abandoned and unassuming alleyway sits clandestine behind a bar of some sort.\n\nA fine jewelery store sits peacefully, bathed in flourescent light, proctored by an employee behind the jewelry counter and monitored by a security guard.\n\nAfter a few moments, a heavyweight boxer enters from the doorway, his gloves still encompassing his hands, his championship belt worn across his waist. The employee silently welcomes him (as the CCTV does not capture sound).\n\nAfter approaching the counter, he violently smashes it, taking a necklace and running out--the security guard and employee in tow.\n\nA moment of silence passes as the CCTV continues to film.\n\nAlmost surreally, a naked, sweaty woman rushes in, grabs a bag FULL of jewelry, and rushes out.\n\n*[[Welp, I'm satisfied!|]]

//Now,// you ask yourself, //is this feeling satisfaction, or mild disgust?// \n\nYou're not sure. //It's a fine line,// you decide. \n\n<<timedinsert 8s>>Either way,<<endtimedinsert>> <<timedinsert 9s>>it's time to get ready for bed and [[brush your teeth.|Brush teeth]]<<endtimedinsert>>

...millions of people around the world will rest their tired, swollen, exhausted bodies and recover. Sleep is important when you exert yourself; your body and mind need time to repair themselves.\n\n<<timedinsert 9s>>You //think//. You've never really, like, literally //SEEN// a body repair itself, now that you think about it...<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n<<timedinsert 16s>>Sometimes you realize how weird it is that "you," just a brain and some nerves and stuff, can "think," about like...<<endtimedinsert>><<timedinsert 25s>> itself?<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n\n<<timedinsert 28s>>Y'know?<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n\n<<timedinsert 34s>>[[Wake up, Dos]]<<endtimedinsert>>\n<html>\n<style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/sleep-fuzz.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html>

*[[Is it sleepy in here, or is it just me (considering that //I'm// the one who just finished masturbating)?|Welp, I'm satisfied!]]

Cory Allan

...millions of people around the world will forgo rest and relaxation, exchanging it for something more tangible--something more difficult--and travel to a place [[known as...]]\n<html>\n<style type="text/css">\nhtml { background: url(images/2.gif) no-repeat center center fixed #000000; \n -webkit-background-size: cover;\n -moz-background-size: cover;\n -o-background-size: cover;\n background-size: cover;\n}</style>\n</html>